50 Things To Do When You’re Stuck In Traffic

1. Brainstorm names for future pets
2. See how many non-verbal (non-linguistic) noises you can make with your mouth
3. Record yourself thinking and send it to a friend
4. Say positive affirmations to yourself (out loud)
5. Put silly make-up on in your visor mirror
6. Write notes on dry erase boards to communicate with other stuck drivers
7. Doodle and/or turn your face into a talking hand
8. Pick your nose
9. Masturbate
10. Practice your bubble gum blowing skills
11. Count how many people are picking their noise
12. Make a to do list
13. Organize your console/glove compartment
14. Stretch, change your posture, crack your knuckles
15. Practice memorizing rap lyrics
16. Recite poems out loud through your window, loud enough for others to hear
17. Unsubscribe to all of your spam e-mails
18. Listen to podcasts/audio books
19. Text a family member you haven’t in a while
20. Play the Alphabet Game (try to find something beginning with every letter of the alphabet)
21. Practice saying your ABC’s backwards
22. Call a friend
23. Wave to strangers in other cars
24. Smoke/vape and pretend you’re a dragon
25. Yell “Marco” and see if anyone responds “Polo”
26. Practice your times tables
27. Organize your wallet
28. See how many songs you can sing without the aid of the radio
29. Use things in your car as percussion instruments
30. Press auto-seek and listen to each radio station
31. Take your bra off
32. Push your cuticles back
33. Make arm pit fart sounds
34. Do facial exercises
35. Try to beat box
36. Request a song on the radio
37. Try to win concert tickets on the local radio station
38. Turn the audio way down and pretend it’s nightlife karaoke
39. Make a beard out of napkins you find in your glove box
40. Tie string together and try playing Cat’s Cradle on your own
41. Reprogram all your radio presets
42. Clean your windshield
43. Do deep breathing exercises
44. Get a good cry out
45. Make really prolonged, unnecessary eye contact with another driver
46. Floss your teeth
47. Figure out something you have in common with each of the six Friends characters
48. If you have a passenger(s), do a seat switch every 10-15 minutes
49. Crank your music, get out of your car, and start headbanging
50. Do kegels